Happiness

The way life occurs to me is that there's always somewhere to get to until I realize that there isn't. The more I try to achieve something or travel to a new place, the more I feel like it is just another escape mechanism. I have tried overworking in the past and it didn't get me to a happy place and so I thought I'd try with non doing. In the last few weeks I have tried to confront my own anxiety of not doing anything for a while and observed the emotions that were coming up.

The funny thing is that no matter what you do, suffering is always present until you realise that there isn't suffering. That to me is the beauty of the human experience. Suffering is unavoidable by virtue of being "here", but at the same time we have the capacity to transcend suffering. Searching for happiness is suffering because it says "happiness is not here". It is the lack of happiness that we're focussing on, when we're in the pursuit of it. True happiness can happen in any moment of time and it will only happen if we accept suffering as the other end of the stick. It is because we know how to overcome pain, that we're able to enjoy the good things in life.

It's the same with love. We often think that love is the feeling when we're with somebody, but a big part of love is connected to missing that person. We don't neglect the flip side in that case. We know it is part of being in love with somebody. Nature designed emotions to motivate us to do certain things and let go of others. There is no good or bad in emotions. It's more like the spectrum of light. Emotions come in different frequencies and some feel pleasant and others don't.

Happiness or well being is something all humans long for. It's the primary mover of our every day actions, but it's the "I'll be happy when..." mindset that makes it a losing game for us. We're satisfied for a moment and then need to reach for the next thing that promises another dose of fleeting happiness. The promotion, the new car, the bigger house.

But can you stop right here? Can you let go of all of the wanting to change how things are right now? Can you look at all the beauty you have created for yourself already? Can you see how perfect life already is? Can you close your eyes for a minute and see yourself for who you are and how far you've come? Even if today is a bad day or the last days, weeks, months, years have been bad for you, there's still enough in this life to appreciate.

Happiness is an inside job. It's not a god given talent or happens randomly. It's a question of how capable you are to focus your conscious awareness on what's good in this life. There are a million things that will try to prove you wrong when you do it, but it's up to you to chose happiness and contentment. You don't need anything to happen in the outside world to be happy. You can start right here.

Much love - Jan

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