Be your own savior: the power of self-reliance

Throughout the centuries, Christmas has become a time for Christians to celebrate the birth of Jesus and to remember the hope that he brings as the savior of the world. The concept of a savior and the anticipation of their arrival is central to many religious traditions. I believe that our cultural upbringing has often taught us to feel powerless and to rely on external forces, such as a savior, for redemption. This type of thinking can lead to a sense of learned helplessness.

Daniel Karim, a good friend and coach of mine writes in one of his home study courses: "Interestingly, the word "sin" has its roots in the Hebrew word "chat·taʼthʹ" and the Greek word "ha·mar·tiʹa," both of which translate to "to miss" or "to fail to reach a goal, path, mark, or correct point." From this perspective, sin can be seen as a result of being passive and complacent in comfortable circumstances. We may become overwhelmed by the seemingly infinite number of options available to us and become paralyzed by indecision, questioning, "Why bother?" when faced with the opportunity to take action.

I don't think it is necessarily wrong to wait for a savior or to hope for someone who can bring about positive change and offer help or guidance (I wouldn't be coaching people if I was). However, it is important to recognize that ultimately, each person is responsible for their own actions and well-being. While it can be helpful to seek guidance and support from others, it is important to also have a sense of personal agency and to take action to make positive changes in one's own life.

Most of us are fortunate enough to not need someone to rescue us from mental illness or terminal illnesses. The prison they are trapped in is the prison of their own minds, as well as social conditioning and sometimes even their possessions. They have constructed a life for themselves that keeps them stuck in the cycle of climbing the corporate ladder in order to satisfy the constant desire for material compensation for the suffering they experience at work. It's a futile cycle, like chasing one's own tail.

One of the founders I am coaching recently confided in me that he feels burnt out from running his company. He felt like he had to keep going in order to make ends meet and take care of his employees. Even though he had experienced burnout earlier in his life, he felt it was his responsibility to ensure that everyone else involved was okay. He didn't live for his possessions, but rather for the sense of responsibility he felt. He thought that his employees, whom he also considered friends, would hate and leave him if he told them that running the company was no longer making him happy. (let me know if you want to know how the story ended;)

It is a sin to remain in these kinds of situations and accept them as natural. Our learned helplessness makes it easy for us to resign ourselves to our fate. It is easier to feel helpless than to accept that it is within our own power to not only save ourselves, but to live a life full of meaning, fulfillment, and happiness. Seven out of eight people who suffer from an illness that will likely shorten their lifespan, but is completely treatable through lifestyle changes, choose to do.... nothing. It is easier to accept our fate than to be our own hero.

Instead of waiting for Jesus to be reincarnated, I argue that you can be your own personal Jesus by relying on your own strength and guidance. The famous song by Depeche Mode has been interpreted in a number of different ways, and some people have seen it as a commentary on the idea of seeking spiritual fulfillment in a world that can often be indifferent, painful, uncertain or hostile. These are certainly truths that many of us have to go through.

My interpretation of the song is that it is about someone seeking a deeper, more personal connection with themselves, and finding comfort in the idea of having an internal guide and protector, a "personal Jesus" who can understand and relate to their struggles and hardships. This internal savior provides the strength and support needed to navigate the challenges of life.

I hope that you are fortunate enough to be able to spend time with your loved ones during the holiday season, but even if you are unable to do so, you can still use this time to build a stronger connection with yourself. If you sell your truth for the sake of comfort, you will always live in compromise. The bitter feeling of not speaking and not acting your truth will eat you up from the inside. A compromise can legitimise your non-action or your hiding from taking the right action, because you don’t know which way to go. Not knowing which way to go and owning that truth is a first step into clarity and out of compromise.

Whatever it is that you do, I hope that you can continue to discover and cultivate your own personal Jesus within yourself throughout your journey in life. This is an important step in finding inner freedom and becoming the best version of yourself. Wishing you a Merry Christmas!

Much love,

Jan

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