Trust your inner critic...

My journey through anxiety and depression propelled me onto a path of self-discovery, leading me to immerse myself in self-improvement, therapy sessions, and coaching. I delved into countless hours of content on platforms like YouTube, seeking guidance from various therapists and investing in personal coaches.

It was amidst this quest that I unknowingly embraced the prevalent narrative of self-love and contentment without comprehending its profound impact. At first, the idea of embracing myself just as I was felt like a beacon of liberation, offering solace in a tumultuous journey. Yet, as time passed, this guidance inadvertently transformed into my shield against discomfort, becoming an unexpected justification for my complacency.

As a business owner, I coasted on the notion that my dedication to self-love and contentment would inevitably attract success to my doorstep. Yet, as the economy took a nosedive in the early months of 2023, I found myself in the throes of distress, pointing fingers at external circumstances for the downfall of my business.

The epiphany struck hard. It wasn't the economy that was solely responsible for my business's struggles; it was my complacency masked as self-love that had led me astray. I had become reliant on the belief that things would magically fall into place, neglecting the well directed effort necessary to thrive in an ever-changing world.

Blaming external factors was an easy escape from confronting my own role in the situation. I had deceived myself into thinking that contentment meant idleness, that self-love translated to a lack of urgency for improvement. The wake-up call was harsh, but it was also transformative.

In that moment of realization, I understood the peril of mistaking complacency for self-acceptance. I recognized that self-love isn't a reason to stagnate but a call to action. It's about embracing oneself while striving for growth, not using it as an excuse for inertia.

The shift in perspective was profound. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, I confronted the inner critic I had silenced for so long. I listened to its whispers of missed opportunities and acknowledged my complacency as the true adversary.

David Goggins, a beacon of relentless self-improvement, and Jocko Willink, an advocate for extreme ownership, resonated deeply with this awakening. Their philosophies mirrored my newfound realization: acknowledging the inner critic's voice without letting it dictate outcomes, using its doubt as fuel for growth.

It was then that I decided to pivot. I began asking myself the hard questions: "What can I do right now to change the trajectory of my business? How can I adapt to these challenging times?" This change in mindset, from blame to proactive problem-solving, became the turning point.

The journey toward success ceased to be about waiting for fortunes to change and instead became about taking ownership of my fate. I realized that self-love, when harnessed correctly, isn't about settling; it's about acknowledging strengths and weaknesses and relentlessly pursuing improvement.

The economy remained volatile, but my approach had shifted. I engaged in strategic planning, sought new opportunities, and adapted my business model to the changing landscape. It wasn't an instant fix, but it was a step in the right direction—a step fueled not by complacency but by a newfound understanding that self-love demands action, not passivity.

My story became a testament to the transformative power of challenging the complacency masked as self-love. It's not about rejecting self-acceptance but redefining it—a realization that self-love, when coupled with ambition and action, becomes the catalyst for true and sustainable success.

Let’s conquer 2024 head on with a lot of love for our inner critic ;)

Before You Go...

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My mission

My mission is to empower people to discover their true selves by freeing them from the mental and social constraints that hold them back, and to assist them in becoming their best selves.

Jan's Recommendations

Readwise: I love reading and enjoy using a variety of devices, such as my Kindle, physical books, phone, and computer. Previously, I used Evernote to store my notes from books, but it was time-consuming to maintain and not very effective for reviewing the material. Readwise is a helpful tool that connects to my Kindle and automatically saves all of my highlights.

Additionally, I can use a web clipper to save information from the internet. I receive regular emails with randomly selected highlights, which serve as helpful reminders of the key points from my reading. This helps me retain more knowledge and not quickly forget most of what I've read. Overall, Readwise has been a great resource for deepening my understanding of the material.

My favourite reads (constantly updated)

Disclaimer: The links provided for the products mentioned in this list are referral or affiliate links, which means that I may earn a commission if you choose to purchase the product. Thank you for your support.

FREE e-books & guides

The Anxiety Playbook is a comprehensive guide on anxiety, born from my personal journey through years of anxiety and depression. It covers various anxiety types and their impacts, offering strategies like relaxation techniques, mindfulness, and cognitive behavioral therapy. It also provides guidance on managing anxiety, and emphasizes self-care, a support network, and emotional connection for coping. This book reflects my experiences and aims to help others understand and manage anxiety effectively.

Resolving trauma with the help of memory reconsolidation. Embark on a journey of self-healing with our digital guide on memory reconsolidation. Explore transformative steps to address past trauma independently. Dive into reflection, identify limiting beliefs, and craft empowering narratives. This guide, while supportive, emphasizes the importance of seeking professional help for deeper trauma. Start your healing journey today.

Dive Deeper with a Coaching

On my journey through the dark night of the soul I had many great teachers and mentors on my side. I spent thousands of Euros (and still do) on coachings and every cent was worth it. I don't think I would have been able to turn my life around so quickly without the help of these amazing people. The value you are receiving from working on removing emotional blocks, limiting beliefs and toxic thinking, can't be measured in money.

Most people only need 6 sessions in 3 months to generate dramatic outcomes in their lives. It's not like I teach them new things or have a bullet proof process. Quite the opposite is true. I believe that structure and process can help, but in most cases you're limiting life and all of its wonderful ways to create miracles for you. I am working on an intuitive level and combine all of my experience and knowledge from freeing myself.

What my clients are saying about working with me

Clara, Startup Founder: "Through his own very real ordeal and great listening skills I felt understood and that he was able to level with me in a way that felt authentic and unlike other help I’d previously sought in this area. I was inspired to pursue my own happiness (not overnight) and today can say, nearly two years on, living in a different country with a life full of love and running my own company - doing something I love - I’m really glad we met."

Felix, Startup Founder: "Jan is an extraordinary human being and an outstanding coach. Through our coaching, he helps me tremendously with personal growth and always has practical guidance at his hand."

Zahid, Startup Founder: "Jan is an incredible listener. Through several conversations with him, I have gotten a huge amount of clarity about where I’m looking to go with my business, and how I can overcome personal and professional challenges."